Hummingbird

B.B. King sang about his hummingbird- I've wondered if this was a code for something. Perhaps an innuendo of sorts. Regardless, that song is playing over and over in my head right now. I have been thinking about this hummingbird "incident" that happened over the weekend, looking for some spiritual or cosmic meaning behind what happened. I find it hard to believe that it was just what it looked like- a hummingbird searching the area for food or checking on a possible threat.
My family and I went to Wyalusing SP for a camping adventure this past weekend. It has been on my list of places to camp ever since I read about it in our Best Tent Camping in Wisconsin book. Perhaps I have also heard people talk about it as well. It is an amazing place! It is now one of our top favorite places in our great state. The confluence of the MIssissippi and Wisconsin Rivers is truly a marvel and given the recent flooding (and still flooded slough) it is a wonder that a city like Prairie du Chien can thrive there. We spotted bald eagles, a soaring flock of white pelicans, and countless small song birds. Our long hike took us along the ridge overlooking the rivers, down to the Mississippi Slough , up another ridge and back to the top where the campground lies. The submerged tree trunks and tips of grasses poking up out of the deep water were mind boggling. Are these species adapted to survive this kind of flooding? Have they lost their leaves early because of this or are they dying? What will the area look like over the coming weeks and months. Will the water recede before winter? Imagine frozen water creeping up the sides of these massive trees, hiding the ground or water ways below. Such mystery. All of these natural wonders and hardly any hummingbirds that I was told were witnessed by a fellow colleauge on her trip years ago. Apparently my husband saw several of these tiny winged beings out of the ranger station window while checking us in.
We were packing up our campsite on Sunday morning and all of a sudden Steve said, there's a hummingbird. Like a flipped switch we all stopped and watched it zooming over and around the shrubs. Then it zoomed towards Steve and stopped several feet away, hovering at eye level. A few seconds passed and then it shot to the right and paused eye-level in front of me. Another few seconds and it shot to the right again and paused in front of Emma. For those brief seconds I felt my mind and heart trying to connect to this bird. Whose soul was lingering there? Whose ghostly mirage was linked to the beating of those wings, seeking some answer to their unknown question. We are fine- we are great I wanted to say. But I also wanted to ask, who are you? We miss you!
Skeptics will surely say it was just a bird. But I don't know. I want it to have been my grandmother, just checking in to make sure we are okay. To let us know that she is okay.
Time could have stopped long enough for me to count the beats of the hummingbird's wings.

Rest in Peace

Bugga passed away on Saturday. We are cherishing the time that we got to spend with her on Wisconsin turf this summer and fall. So many good memories. And so much that reminded me of my own grandma. The girls were able to make some memories that I hope will resonate with them their whole lives. After she returned to California (Oct 9th) she was at her house. I don't think we called. She sent back 2 beautiful rosemaling painted wooden plates for the girls with Dad. I thought about calling and the timing was never right. So we didn't get to have one last chat. She didn't get to hear us say thank you for a little slice of Norwegian heritage. She sent Emma a birthday card with a wonderful note inside. I feel so guilty and heartwrenchingly sad that we did not make contact again before she passed. I hope she knows that she was always on our mind and we were always sending love across the miles. After she fell and was in the hospital I did message the daughter that was with her and asked her to pass along our good wishes. I also asked for her phone number so that we could call. We were told that she wasn't good on the phone but that we would be sent the number when she felt better. 1-2 days later she was gone and we never got the hospital number.
Later on Saturday after Dad with the awful news, we were talking as a family about what to have for brunch the next day. Steve tossed out egg cheese casserole to which I replied, yes! that would be a super fitting dish since it was Bugga's signature breakfast recipe. Our brunch turned into a celebration of life feast for Bugga. We made egg cheese casserole, pumpkin praline waffles, sliced strawberries and whipped cream, diced cantaloupe, bacon, and of course, orange juice. We invited Mom and Dad and Emma set up an ofrenda. We ate and shared some stories and just soaked up the fact that we all got to spend several months with Bugga before she left. The tears didn't set in until church Sunday morning. The gates were opened and I could barely keep it together. Then it all hit again today on the drive to work. It is so weird how grief works. Thoughts of both Bugga and Grandma were spinning around in my head. Some of the moments I shared earlier were in the forefront- Toots, canasta, etc.
I shared our egg cheese casserole idea with my "sisters" and hoped that they would find a way to celebrate Bugga's life. What they all have ended up doing (or committed to doing) is make egg cheese. Pictures have been shared and the iconic meal has been shared across the world. One sibling family (grandchildren of Bugs) is temporarily living in Germany and they had to take 3 buses to find Jack cheese, without which egg cheese would lose half it's deliciousness.
A google picture sharing has commenced with snapshots of Bugga through the years, with various combinations of family members. First great grandchild, additional babies, weddings, road trips and generations of Delwiche family members sharing happy moments with the matriarch.
So to Bugga I say, rest in peace. You have lived a full and happy life (for my part). We will miss you greatly. I hope that you and Grandma are able to share some memories and look down at us and smile. We love you!