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| Susan and Tara at Ellen! |
But I did win VIP tickets to the Ellen show. I "won" them in an online silent auction for a local non-profit. I was the only one to bid so I got a steal of a deal on a pair of VIP tickets, long-sleeve American Apparel Ellen tee, glass Ellen water bottle, and an Ellen recycled-water-bottle-bag. I was most excited about the tickets. I chose some dates and crossed my fingers for a good date with a fun guest or two. The middle of the week wasn't my top choice, but it all worked out. The show, however, was a tame one for Ellen. It was still awesome to be there and watch how a TV talk show gets filmed. And we were in the middle of the second row so we were pretty close to Ellen.
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| Waiting to get in the studio. |
1/10/13 Dear Ellen,
There are so many things I want to tell you! I think I had
this crazy vision that I might be able to explain myself in person while at the
filming of the January 9th show, which was on January 8th. Crazy indeed.
In researching (very minimally and not very well) who the
guest would be for the January 8th filming I discovered that January
8th is National Argyle Day. Did you know that? I carefully observed
your outfit (I am avoiding the use of the phrase “checked you out”), and it was
not obvious that you were wearing anything argyle. I was, however, and even planned my outfit
around my favorite pair of argyle socks. Now I do not expect that you will
remember even one face from the thousands (millions?) of people you see in your
studio audiences, but you might remember me. I was the one in complete
abandonment of censure and danced in the aisle during one of the final
commercial breaks like the song was actually a decent, fast and fun song and I
had even a smidgen of dancing talent. Albeit I believe I had more gumption and
should be admired for baring my dancing soul to complete strangers. Anyway, you could have seen my pink and red
argyle socks boldly covering my calves above the tops of my light blue boots if
the entourage of people gave you but a moment to look my way. Suffice it to say, my dance moves did not
match the sophistication of my ensemble. It was a foolish display and I
oscillate between utter embarrassment at the thought of how many people watched
me lose control and flaming desire to see at least part of the “show” aired on
national television. (This is just a suggestion but perhaps a small chunk of it
could be shown as part of a bloopers theme or what-not-to-do-during-commercial-breaks.
I won’t even ask for monetary compensation. Just please use my full name in any
descriptions- Tara Lynn Von Dollen. Thanks.)
Now I have to tell you that although I found being in the
audience to be exhilarating and awesome (and dancing as I said above was the
personal highlight) I was and am very disappointed that we didn’t get to see you dance. My friend and I were even in
the second row with extra room in front of us- just for you. Incidentally, that
Tom dude used it a lot to encourage us to scream and clap more enthusiastically
and to find volunteers for rapping and dancing.
You would probably agree that although he is good at what he does, he is
no Ellen. And come to think of it, I don’t know if he busted any moves either.
So what gives? Were you under the weather? I paid a lot of money to fly, stay in LA and
be on the VIP list for your show and I really had high hopes that you would
dance (for me). I did also spend a lot of money on a pair of killer Miss L Fire
shoes on my brief trip, but that’s beside the point. I came to see you dance
and I left still wanting to see you dance. Oh the disappointment that stills my
beating heart.
Only a small part of me expects you to read this- hi, rando screening
person! But if you made it this far you
may realize that I do tend to get my hopes up in situations best left to
hopelessness. The final thing I want to say is this- I think you rock! Here is where a devoted fan would say “I watch
your show every day!” or “I own all your Ellen gear.” Or “I named my first born Ellen after you and
it’s a boy.” The truth is, however, that I have not watched your show much the
last couple of years. (Excuse #1 is that my daughter, bless her heart, doesn’t
get your sense of humor. Well, actually,
it is hard to tell her she can’t watch TV if Mommy is always glued to it after
school. We did watch you when she was younger. sigh) I miss you and I keep
tabs of sorts by watching my across-the-street neighbors’ rather large TV
through our front room windows. The sound isn’t great but I can see the guests
and imagine your wit in my head. And not to worry, the neighbors rarely get
upset at my peeping.
Okay, this is the final thing I want to say: Thank you for
reading this and acknowledging my feelings of disappointment- if only for a
second. I know you have a lot on your plate what with the People’s Choice
Awards (congratulations!) and the Oscars coming up. (I do plan on watching your
no doubt hilarious hosting job as long as it doesn’t interfere with Downton
Abbey.)
Take care of yourself and keep dancing! Even if you won’t
dance for me.
Best regards,
Tara
PS We made friends with one of the WB security guards who
initially checked us in. I wish I could tell you his name. He was so nice and quick to share his lovely
wide, white smile. We shared our sandwich halves with him even. He could use
some recognition.
So I went to EllenTV.com to contact her but was limited to 1500 characters. Not words, characters! I had to edit and cull and weed out the crap to be left with the ain gold nuggets of it all. Read below. I may still try to send her the full-length feature but we'll see. I have to find another avenue first.
Dear Ellen, I was in the audience on January 8th,
screaming/clapping/pretending it was January 9th. Although I found being in the
audience to be exhilarating and awesome (and dancing as I say below was a
personal highlight)I was and am very disappointed that we didn’t get to see you
dance. Not even a little, tiny bit. :( My friend and I were even in the second
row with extra room in front of us-just for you. So what gives? Were you under
the weather? Nervous about the People's Choice Awards? (Congrats! BTW) I paid a
lot of money to fly, stay in LA and be on the VIP list for your show and I
really had high hopes that you would dance (for me). Seriously, I came to see
you dance and I left still wanting to see you dance. Oh the disappointment that
stills my beating heart. Now I do not expect that you will remember even one
face from the thousands of people you see in your studio audiences, but you
might remember me. I was the one in complete abandonment of censure and danced
in the aisle during one of the final commercial breaks with pink and red argyle
socks boldly covering my calves above the tops of my light blue boots. Suffice
it to say, my dance moves did not match the sophistication of my ensemble. I
would trade all that to have danced in the same room with you. Anyway, thank
you for reading this and acknowledging my feelings of disappointment-if only
for a second. Take care of yourself and keep dancing! Even if you won't dance
for me. Best regards, Tara
With 19 characters to spare
There are so many ways to process the experience! Here is what went through my head on the plane ride home the following day:
She (Ellen) seemed a bit off- not quite as "on". That was what I noticed first. Then during the next part of the show that included a video of Matt (?) posing as a Brookstone employee I almost forgot that I was sitting in a TV show audience. I was caught up in the laughter and funny scenes. Suddenly I noticed with shock that Ellen was still sitting in her chair,a dark silhouetter in from of the very large, bright screen. It was like a parody of the real Ellen. We were laughing at this Matt guy while Ellen sat in the dark, facing the audience. I found myself trying to tell if her eyes were open. It creeped me out actually.
Perhaps the long day and prep determined her subdued demeanor and overall tame show. She was off to the People's Choice Awards afterall. (Well, they might not have been until the real January 9th so there is no excuse!) Still is was amazing to witness and such fun to participate.
I wonder with half embarassmenet and half phobic-hope that my dance scene will be viewed by Ellen's team and showcased in some small way for the whole world. A brief glimmer of fame for my close to meaningless existence.
It was exhilirating dancing in the asile during the commercial break. Fear abandoned me and I was left with an insane desire to not stop dancing. No matter what. No matter what dance move failed to be completed correctly or left out entirely (is running man still a kosher dance move?). Oh the humanity, to quote a favorite movie (Super Troopers). I can only imagine the mix of thoughts running through Tom's head, and the cameraman, the rando dudes, Ellen (ha!), and the hundreds of women. Did they understand even a little the euphoria, nigh temporary dementia that overcomes a person in those situations? They become a mere hologram of themselves. A shadow puppet controlled by some nerdy computer programer or graphic designer intent on creating discomfort or pure hilarity (surely nothing in between) in viewers. A strange social experiment.
I'm so glad I wore my argyle socks and blue boots instead of my brand-new, grown-up, expensive Miss L Fire shoes. Sure, those would have been admired but they also would have been destined to seal my fate in an impregnable fortress of embarrassment sure to result from an undignified fall or debilitating ankle roll. I need practice dancing in heels before baring my dancing soul in the stairway aisle of the Ellen Degeneres show!
